It all started with a long conversation on a couch. We spent all day on the couch talking. We hadn’t even really met each other before then! We talked about everything. We talked about her and her past, me and my past, goals, life, what we wanted, etc. We finally realized we had been talking all day and went and got pizza. And continued to talk some more. I don’t think I had ever talked to anyone that long, that much, and that honestly in my entire life. We had so much in common…it was like we had known each other forever. I felt something for her and it scared me. I had never been with a woman before and the fact that I felt something so strongly for her scared the hell out of me. We ended the day by giving each other’s numbers and hoping that I would hear from her.
I was at work and posted on Facebook that I could really use a Cherry Limeade from Sonic! She was on my Facebook and the next thing I know she is at my work with a Cherry Limeade. Mind you, we hardly knew each other really. But she came out of her way to bring me something to drink and wouldn’t let me pay her back even. A few days later I get a text from her that she needs to go to her Mom’s house and asked if I would ride with her. I told her that I would. I didn’t know why she needed back up, I didn’t know why she wanted me to come but I did. I saw where she came from, and I felt my heart fall a little more for her that day. She had done so much for herself and changed so much about herself to get away from that life that I just felt a little more that day. We started texting, talking, and hanging out more. This went on for a few months. I just kept falling more in love with her.
What was I going to do, did she even like me, did she even feel that way towards me? How was I going to tell my family? How was I going to explain to her how I felt? By that time I had pretty much moved in with her. We were becoming best friends. We spent all of our time together, not one night apart. Finally, one day she asks me as we are watching a movie if I will be her girlfriend…she didn’t even look me in the eyes when she said it! She had her head buried in my arm and just mumbled it. I, of course, said yes! I was head over heels in love with her.
Now I have to tell my mom….My mom the one person in my life that had never left me know matter what I did to her. I had to tell her that I was gay. That I had never felt love for someone else like I felt for this woman. That I wanted to spend every single day with her and never lose her. I was terrified. I was so scared. My mom was someone I thought would be okay with it. I thought that she was going to just be like whatever and move on from it. Not so much. She didn’t get it. She didn’t understand, she didn’t really like it, and she wished it wasn’t so. I know that she love/s/d me. I just think that this was something that she didn’t to think or deal with. Honestly, I don’t know what she even thinks…she never really said…and that’s okay with me.
My Love and I have been together since October of 2008. She had a daughter that I was in love with almost immediately. We moved in together and never spent on night apart. To this day in 2016 we have never spent one night apart. We have had our ups and downs. We have fought hard core more than once. We say things sometimes that aren’t nice and that hurt each other. We can sometimes be down right nasty to each other. That doesn’t change the fact that we love each other more than anything in this world. I couldn’t imagine not having her. She is my best friend, my calmer more rational self, she is everything to me. I know that not everyone understands us, not everyone agrees with us, not every one likes us, but it doesn’t matter. When I found her I found my life. I can’t imagine not having her. I am so lucky to have found my best friend and love and the person that I can spend the rest of my life with.
When she asked me to marry her I thought she was breaking up with me. She took me to this overlook near where we lived. She was telling me all these things that were good about us and were bad about us and I didn’t know what to think. I am crying super hard and then a car pulls up, it is a state trooper. He asks if we are okay, or if I am okay really because I am losing it, he thinks I have been kidnapped hahahahahah it was too funny. When the police officer leaves, she looks at me and is like well that kind of ruined it, so will you marry me?! I about died. She had always told me about how she wasn’t going to get married. So when she asked I didn’t know what to think! I, of course, said yes.
We got married a few years ago. It will be 3 years this September. It was a quick 36 hour trip to the southern most tip of Iowa and back. We took our friend with us and the three of us went. I had planned and talked about getting a dress, it didn’t seem right. My mom wasn’t going to be there, no one was going to walk me down the aisle, our kids weren’t going to be there, it was actually a sad affair. I cried, the entire time. I loved that my wife was there, I loved that our friend was there, I loved marrying the woman I love but it was probably the saddest thing ever. I cried constantly that my mom wasn’t involved, that we weren’t having a real wedding with friends and family, that our kids weren’t there, that we were all alone doing this and it was like it didn’t matter. I never got the wedding I wanted, but I got the marriage I love! When we said I do, it was til the end. We both agreed before we said I do that we would marry for life. Too many broken marriages in our pasts.
I still cry that I missed out on a wedding. I still cry that my mom didn’t help my buy a dress. I still cry that I feel like I missed out on something. Something that I won’t get back. The Wife is right when she tells me that it doesn’t matter, that she will give me a wedding, but I think it is too late. Too late for something like that. If we were going to have the money for a wedding with friends and family I would rather take my kids on a great vacation. Make memories as a family.
We have three gorgeous children that I couldn’t imagine not having. That is another thing The Wife gave me. She gave me them. I couldn’t have kids and she gave me these gorgeous little ones to call me Mama. I can’t even begin to imagine how to ever thank her for having these wonderful kids for us. She is my world. She is my life. They are my world. They are my life. She is my one and only. My best friend. My better half.