I am going to start out this blog by telling you what goes on in my world on a daily basis….

First of all it starts with not sleeping the night before! What is sleep? Who needs that?! Obviously not my 16 month old Brogey, and not my 5 year old Monkey. They don’t need sleep. That is something that was not required for them to live or so they believe! My Monkey hasn’t slept more than a few hours a night since the day he was born…5 years ago….yeah 5 years of not sleeping a night through. Then we decided hey, let’s have another baby…well since I am already awake having another baby didn’t really matter to much…until it’t been two years of having two different kids wake me up at different times….and people wonder how I can fall asleep sitting up?!

Then we have to get the two older children ready for school. And when I saw we, I mean Me, my wife has already left two hours previously. It starts with hey guys time to get up, you have school today…to….FOR THE LOVE OF GOD IF YOU DO NOT GET UP AND PUT YOUR UNDERWEAR ON AND THEN YOUR PANTS I WILL HAVE TO BUST YOUR BUTT…..and keep in mind this is after he has laid there or stood there naked just staring at me for like 10 minutes. Then we have the whole…..I DO NOT KNOW WHERE YOUR SHOES ARE MONKEY I DON’T WEAR THEM, WHERE DID YOU PUT THEM WHEN YOU TOOK THEM OFF YESTERDAY????….to which he replies he doesn’t know in the whiniest most annoying voice possible. By this time I am so irritated and so ready for them to go to school that I don’t care if you wear cowboy boots with no socks and striped shirt with plaid shorts….I don’t care if you haven’t brushed your hair or your teeth because it is taking all I have not to just crawl back in bed and cover my head…..finally we are in the car on the way to school!!! WHOO HOOO they both got there on time and safely!

Then it is time to take care of the baby. You would think it wouldn’t be that bad, one child one Mama, good odds right?! NO NO NO NO NO I can’t go to the kitchen without him, I can’t go pee without him, and God forbid I try and shower!!! hahahaha and people wonder why I don’t shower daily, hello, have you been poked in the vagina by a toddler….i don’t think so!! So we spend the day playing AKA telling the baby not to eat, drink, poke a finger in, or any of the above for hours! I swear I say Brogey please stop that, or Brogey no at least 1500 times a day. It never stops.

Then it is nap time. 1030am every day he naps. I Thank God for that time. It is time that I can sit in the quiet, surf the internet, crochet, etc. Mind you when I say I can do things, I mean anything that allows me to sit right next to him on the bed, no getting up, and making sure at least some part of my body is touching him at all times. Because if I move, go pee, or just re situate and he doesn’t like it, he wakes up SCREAMING AND SCREAMING, for no reason and that is the end of the nap and the end of my day!!!

We have lunch which requires that I make two plates of the same food because he is going to eat mine not his own. We both know it. But if Brogey doesn’t have his own plate, it is the wrath he is bringing down, and by wrath I mean his food and plate all at once! So we eat. Then I have to clean everything because he is rubbing mac and cheese on every surface including his own body. Take the baby wipes to him because we know that dinner isn’t that far off and if I give him a bath now, he will have two for the day and that’s not good for his skin.

WHOODIE HOO, WHOODIE HOO…the sound of Monkey coming in from the bus and the sound of the oldest being nice enough to watch the baby so I can go to the bathroom in peace! Time for homework….and chores…oh my the chores….I DON’T WANNA DO MY CHORES, I DON’T LIKE YOU, I AM GOING TO MY ROOM, LEAVE ME ALONE…..those are just a few responses to the phrase time to do your chores….it takes two hours to pick up the living room and the bathroom…my oldest Bug is just trucking along doing everything that we do daily without much grumbling…she will help do just about anything but clean her own room…she won’t do that at all…but she will take out the trash or anything else…how weird is that?!

Dinner time….it has taken me an hour or more to make dinner….and taken them less than 2o minutes to destroy the food and the kitchen all at once. The baby is covered in all of his food, so is the floor, then there is Monkey who hasn’t eaten any of his but he is screaming for dessert, and then Bug who is asking for seconds!!! These kids….but I will say this, they will pretty much eat anything I give them! Thank the lord!

Bath time is loud, messy, and only takes a few minutes! None of my kids like to take a bath…they like to play in the water and the tub but they don’t like to actually wash themselves! So we do it quick and in a hurry…

Finally it is bed time. Thank the Lord I have survived this far, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel…it’s almost time when I can watch something for an hour or so before I have to go to bed because they will start waking me up not long after! The kids are quiet watching cartoons in their room for a few minutes. We are upstairs…the entire house is quiet, the baby is asleep….and what do we do…nothing…watch an hour long sitcom that we have recorded from a week ago and fall asleep usually in the middle of it because we are both so tired that we can’t keep our eyes open….

There isn’t any Mommy-Mama time anymore…and damn it that just ain’t right… I miss my wife…lord do I miss hanging out and watching television on the couch…watching all cuddled up and all snuggled together…now I am lucky if we remember to kiss each other just once in the day!!! There has to be a way we can take our lives back…right….this isn’t the end is it…there is hope right….if not just lie to me and tell me there is!!! 🙂